Signs of an Unhealthy Marriage

fighting, bad marriage, marriage troubleThe wedding cake is long gone. The happy smiles in the photos are, too. If you’re finding that more of your time is spent trying to avoid your spouse, you may be in an unhealthy marriage. Here are some signs of an unhealthy marriage:


Physical abuse – If your spouse is causing you or anyone in your family physical harm, that’s not ok. Contact the police, your doctor and/or a shelter and get out immediately.

Psychological and verbal abuse – Does your spouse criticize everything you do? Does your spouse make you (or anyone in your family) feel terrible; does he or she make withering comments and have a caustic tone? This isn’t healthy either. Depending on the situation you may want to confront your spouse, seek therapy or psychological help for you and/or your spouse.

Control Issues

Does your spouse control all the money, all the bills, the temperature of the house, the utilities and anything else that involves a decision? This is another sign of an unhealthy marriage.


Whether it’s lying about spending time with friends, what went on at the bachelor party or what happened on that business trip, a spouse that can’t be trusted is a sign of an unhealthy marriage.

Secret Bank Accounts

Along with lying and control issues, secrets can cause problems in a marriage. A secret bank account is a sign that your spouse either doesn’t trust you, has something to hide or may be involved in illegal activities. This is not a good sign if you’re looking for a healthy marriage.

Social Isolation

Sometimes a spouse pulls you away from friends or relatives. Sometimes you pull away yourself once you’re in a new relationship. But if you find yourself in a bubble with just one other person in it, that may be a sign you’re in an unhealthy marriage.

Lack of Trust

If you don’t trust your spouse — if you feel you need to check up on him or her, if you’re reading his or her emails, etc. then this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Fighting Every Day

It may sound obvious, but in a healthy relationship, couples don’t fight every day. Sure, everyone argues sometimes. But not all the time.

No Communication

It’s one thing to not argue, but communication is an important part of a relationship. If you and your spouse don’t communicate — whether it’s about your day, your children or whatever else, that’s not healthy.

If some of these signs of an unhealthy relationship are ringing true for you, you might consider talking about them with your spouse or another trusted friend. There are many ways to improve your relationship — from self-help books to marriage counselors – and, if you’re in a dangerous situation, your medical professional, a shelter or the police. Relationships are meant to be healthy and positive. You deserve it, and so does your significant other. Good luck.


  1. Great tips and advice. I highly recommend that if you have any of these issues in your marriage that you work to resolve them before it escalates out of control. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor with or without your spouse. Sometimes a third party person can be a great sounding board but they can also give you professional advice.

    • Corinne says:

      Hi Christy,
      I totally agree that a third party perspective can be helpful. It’s sometimes hard to see what is right in front of us. Unfortunately, the hardest thing is when those who need the help don’t want to seek it out.

  2. Great post girlfriend.

    I know some ladies who have some of these issues with their spouse and I count my blessings. My man can be grouchy and he’s not a morning person but I will take that any day, you know.

    We’ve been together for 23 years and yes we’ve had our ups and downs but we haven’t had serious issues like hiding money and abuse.

    I agree with Christy in that any marriage worth saving is worth doing everything possible to make it work.

    Happy Tuesday!
    Corina Ramos recently posted…Three Websites Freelancers Should Bookmark For Clerical WorkMy Profile

    • Corinne says:

      23 years is awesome girl! Hubby and I have been together 7 years, and yes, we have our ups and downs but for the most part I consider myself blessed to have someone who is willing to communicate with me and work through anything. And yes, I’d do anything to make it work if we got to that point. Marriage is work, even when we’re in a good place. We still work at it to make sure we do the best by each other.

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